Me and LG

Me: Here to pick up.

LG: One minute.

Me: Holy shit.

LG: Ticket?

Me: Hey, buddy.  Long time, no see.

LG: I suppose.  22 dollars.

Me: The ticket says 20, dude.

LG: No.  22.

Me: Right there, dude.  2.  0.  20.

LG: Oh, you are right.  20 dollars.  I don’t have my glasses on.

Me: You wear glasses?

LG: No.

Me: We’re like peas and carrots, me and you.

LG: I suppose.

*OnOctober 1st, 2012 I left Los Angeles.  On October 6th, 2012 I arrived back in Chicago.  On December 29th, 2013 I left Chicago.  On January 2nd, 2013 I arrived back in Los Angeles.  This time for good.  LG never left.

LG: Hey.  Here to pick up?

Me: Yep.  It’s free for me today.

LG: Not today.

Me: It’s my birthday, I thought laundry was free on my birthday.

LG: May 12th is your birthday, too?

Me: Whoa.  It’s your birthday?

LG: May 12th.

Me: Me, too.

Silence

Me: So, I guess it’s not free, huh?

LG: Not today.

Me:  Hey, boss.  Haven’t gone back to Caracas, yet?

LG:  Mexicali.

Me:  Yeah, right.  Got my ticket.

LG:  (handing my bags to me)  $29

Me:  (Handing him $30)  Sorry I’m a day late.

LG:  (Handing me change)  And a dollar short?  (eye-balling the tip can.)

Me:  Nope. 

On January 17th, after weeks of doing my own laundry due to the sudden departure of LG from my laundering life, I decided I was too busy for laundry and returned, sad-eyed, to that laundromat on Torrance Blvd.  Not expecting much of anything, I approached the counter, lifted my bags over the gate and this is what happened:

Me:  Hello.  Anyone home.  Here to drop off.

Voice:  Just a minute.

Me:  LG?

Voice:  In a minute.

Me:  Paolito?

LG: Here to drop off?

Me:  (remembering my respective station in this relationship)  I’m not picking you up for dinner.

LG:  Good.  I’m not paying.

Me:  I thought you moved back to Caracas.

LG:  Who said that?

Me:  Ummm.  Laundry Lady?

LG:  I had to help my uncle with his family in Mexicali.

Me:  That’s a lot different than moving to Caracas.

LG:  What is that?

Me:  Bingo. 

LG:  Pick up tomorrow.

Me:  You bet.

And with that the fluff and fold yin, to my drop and grab yang have been reunited.  Caracas.  What is that, indeed.

On December 1st, 2010 I dropped off my laundry.  After roughly 6 weeks of intermittent LG sightings, much less interaction, I learned from LL (Laundry Lady) that LG had moved back to his homeland of Caracas, Venezuela.  I hadn’t pegged LG as Venezuelan.  He looked and outbursted nothing like Carlos Zambrano, after all.  Shows what I know of Venezuelans. 

I also learned that his name was/is Paolito.  Little Paulie.  I kind of like that better than LG.  But, it’s too late now.

Unless LL proves to be more than the pleasant, smiling, pudgily-agreeable woman that I have met on several occasions, this blog will cease to exist. 

Me and LG reminded me of Tom Cruise and his paper guy in A Few Good Men, albeit in a much worse-natured kind of way.  Sharing barbs, caring only enough to mildly aggravate each other and then turn our attentions elsewhere more important. 

So long, Little Paulie.   So long, LG.