On August 12th, 2010 I tired of doing my own laundry. The following is a collection of “conversations” I’ve had with the attendant at the laundromat, one amongst the many on Torrance Avenue, that I was fortunate to haphazardly choose as the laundromat for me. My name is Josh. His name, to the best of my limited knowledge of this man, is Laundry Guy. Enjoy.
Me: Hello. Anybody…
LL: (The Laundry Lady) Coming. Coming.
Me: Here to drop off.
LL: One second and I’ll get your ticket.
Me: What happened to the guy?
LL: Paolito?
Me: I guess.
(Awkwardness.)
Me: Was he the only guy that worked here?
LL: Yes.
Me: Then, yes, Paolito. What happened to Paolito?
LL: He moved back to Caracas.
Me: Venezuela?
LL: I think so.
Me: Are you related to Paolito?
LL: No.
Me to LG: Here to pick up, ace.
LG to Me: Ticket?
Me to LG: (handing ticket) Hey. Happy haircut.
LG to Me: What do you mean?
Me to LG: I mean you got a real sweet haircut.
LG to Me: It’s not that great. (handing my bags to me)
Me to LG: I know.
(Long pause and staring.)
LG to Me: Got ‘em all cut.
Me to LG: Holy shit.
(Laughing so hard I start squealing and wheezing.)
Me to LG: You’re awesome.
Speaking loudly to overcome an inappropriately high radio volume.
J to LG: Hey, man. Here to pick up.
LG to J: Ticket.
J to LG: (Handing ticket to LG in silence)
LG to J: $24
J to LG: What ya listening to, boss?
LG to J: Radio.
J to LG: (pausing at the magnitude of previous answer)
LG to J: That ok?
J to LG: Please just give me my clothes and change so I can go.
Exchange of clothes and change. LG turns up volume on way out.
This is where the magic happens.
In case you didn’t believe they use water, there are 2 fish to illustrate that they in fact do.
J to LG: Yo, boss. Where are you? Anybody here?
LG to J: (from behind a double tall bank of dryers) Coming. Coming. (rounds the corner 2-sticks into a KitKat.)
J to LG: KitKat, huh?
LG to J: Yup.
J to LG: Making the most of your break, huh?
LG to J: Yup.
J to LG: You should try a banana. Potassium.
LG to J: Meh. (looks @ back of kitkat wrapper.)
J to LG: Yeah, no potassium in that bad boy. Maybe next time on the nanner.
LG to J: Meh.
J to LG: Probably not though.
LG to J: Probably not. Here’s the ticket.
J to LG: Alright boss. Real good talk. You working tomorrow?
LG to J: Yup.
J to LG: I’ll see you then. Maybe I’ll bring you a banana.
LG to J: Probably not.
J to LG: Bingo.
